The Cracked Bell

*I wrote this post a couple of weeks ago, the day after Thanksgiving, intending to take the appropriate pictures and post! I can't believe I forgot about it, but it's still good and still applies! Enjoy!*


As I pulled out ornaments and lights and stockings this year, I began sorting through a small collection of bells. These weren't mine originally - they came from my mother. She decided about 4 years ago that she was going to try to give some of her own Christmas decor (which thoroughly swamps mine about 5 times over!) and give some to my sisters and I, things she wanted us to eventually have anyway. She gave me a tote full of bells that she had collected over the years. Grateful for the gift, yet knowing I have never once attempted to collect any kind of bells and knew I probably wouldn't put them out, I promptly had my husband put them in the attic and that was that. 

Fast forward a couple years, to last year - I decided to look through them and chose just three small ones out of the 15-20 of them to set out. 

So today when my husband was helping me unpack my ONE tote of our own decor, and the tote that was full of bells, he began taking them all out and I wondered to myself why in the world he was doing that, and just knew I would end up having to put so many back. As I looked through, I decided it wouldn't hurt to try and put them all out, and arrange them to match as best as possible (they span three decades, so you can imagine the variety in style!). 

A few were inexpensive ones - Dollar store finds, etc., or maybe from a garage sell somewhere along the line. I could see my mother's face in finding them, the excitement of having found a bell she didn't yet have. They became a little prettier in that light. 

Some were very obviously from specific places - maybe something a friend had given her along the way. I could imagine her joy and appreciation in getting such a gift, and knew she had given me that same gift - it meant so much more all of a sudden.

I saw several that I remembered her putting up, and thought how wonderful it was that my children were seeing me do something that I watched my mother do so many times. 

Then I came upon one with a crack in it. Oh, it was barely visible - a lovely bell. But when you looked, you could see the unmistakable crack, sealed in by a very old coating of clear super glue. 

In an instant, I reflected on my own day. One that started early, with shopping. Than back home to make pancakes, try my best to stay awake and read and play until that was no longer possible. Then - the luxury of a nap, and yet another trip to the store, for groceries this time. My husband had somewhere to be this evening, so after the tree was assembled and ready for decorating tomorrow, he left. I began dinner, and somewhere around there, the night began to get long - kids were tired, cranky, trying to hold out, and quite honestly - failing miserably. And so was I, despite the nap. The night got longer and longer, and came to a head when Hoss tried to move the coffee table and slammed it into a glass section of our dining room door, breaking it into a hundred tiny pieces. I felt the final straw pull, and decided that sleeping in the living room, by the light of the tree, just WAS NOT going to happen tonight - they were tired, I was tired, and we just needed to be done with our day. I prayed and just asked the Lord what I should do - He reminded me with a still, small voice, that I needed to use the same with them. So, with a small, quiet voice, we re-grouped, and got everyone settled in for a  night of Polar Express and tree-light.  I thought about this crack, and wondered how it had happened. You see - I can't really remember. Maybe she dropped it when unpacking, maybe the box shifted too rough in a trip up or down out of the attic. Maybe, just maybe.... I broke it. Or one of my sisters. I couldn't remember. I could imagine her very carefully, gently, precisely holding it in place and gluing it back together - making sure every edge matched up just so. Making it presentable again - able to be set out among all the others, trying to move on the way it once was. And for years - it had remained in the collection. The crack was still there, and if you were to pick it up, it would be easy to spot. Yet, it wasn't trashed - it was able to be restored enough to make it all this time. I realized then, that I should react often times as with the bell. Realize there is no way to go back and 'un-crack' what has been messed up - there is no way to change the past. You can sorrow over it, lament what used to be, be sad - angry - even cry a bucket of tears. But then - then you must find a way to pick up the pieces, but them back together the best you can, and move on. Place the bell out with the others, and know that even when all others have forgotten, you will remember the crack - how it got there - how you fixed it. Or maybe, you might find that years later, you can't recall what once was such a big deal. Maybe it wasn't so big after all. 

Isn't that what God does with us, after all? We are cracked vessels - broken and unable to be used on our own. We won't ring out His truth, we wouldn't even make it back on the shelf. He picks us up, though - dusts us off, finds all the missing pieces, and carefully glues us back together again. We go year after year, and sometimes forget what was so hard once. Sometimes, the memory is there, and serves as a reminder that we could not make it on our own, but with His hand to carry us through and restore us - until the only thing left of the trial is a faint mark, only visible to a close eye. The marks will change us, but they don't have to destroy us forever - in fact, they can  yield a testimony of victory over a trial, and proof that God's hands can hold and heal us, and make us fit again to go another day, month, year. 

So this year, if sometimes breaks - remember the little hands that most likely didn't mean to break it. Remember that one day, they will look back and what you do now will be their memory forever. And if you are the bell - you are cracked, broken, torn apart by some valley you are walking through - lean on the One - the Only One - who can pick you up, fit the pieces together, and help you get on down the road. One day, it will be a faint memory - no bigger than a crack on a bell. 

What's With All The Babies?

My husband and I were out a few days ago for a couple hours of 'Daddy, Mommy' time, which amounted to going to pay a bill together, do some early Christmas looking, and eating quickly at Subway.

I know that doesn't sound super interesting, but sometimes you take what you can get, right? :)

We got to talking about babies and children, and what some people refer to as a *big* family. Here I might add - we have five children, and I don't at all consider us to be a big family. For some people that might seem large, but to me - it's just not.

I was surprised to find out, however, that the opinions of others my husband works are quite the opposite, even going so far as to question if religion plays a part in it! Which leads one to wonder - DOES religion play a part in how many children a person has?

Obviously, the answer to that one is - maybe. Maybe - you are in a 'religion' that believes in big families, and you have one because of said 'religion'. Maybe - you know someone who had a large number of children, and sadly only did so to get more government benefits. I know that sounds harsh, but unfortunately, we know some who have done just that. Those reasons, however, aren't why we have what so many consider to be a 'large' family. 

You see, when we got married - we flip-flopped about how many children we planned on having. 

~ My handsome husband and I on our wedding day ~

He wanted 2, I wanted 2 - then I wanted 4, and he still said 2 is a nice number - 1 for each, you know. We said we would have them 1 1/2 - 2 years apart - perfect spacing, you know.

THEN - God showed us that what we think we have planned out has NOTHING on His plans! Little Mama was born in September of 2004, and exactly 1 year and 10 days later, Hoss joined us. 

Little Mama and Hoss - they have never known life without each other :)

Pleasantly surprised, we said "Let's make sure he gets to 6 months old before I got pregnant again". Hah - see - we were trying to plan it all again. Hoss was 16 months old when we found out I was going to have Miss Priss, which meant that we would have three children born in September - I mean, really - WHO PLANS THAT?

                                  * God does - that's Who *

Miss Priss at about 1 month old

The best part of the story is the youngest two - both surprises as well, because I am surprised I got pregnant with them when I did. 

Bug, at about 8-9 months old

Buddy Boy, just a couple of days old

Of course, God wasn't. Both of them were born at times where you could easily say it was the worst time to have a baby, for many different reasons that just don't matter now. We spent less money on diapers and baby food and essentials with these two than we ever did on the others, God provided so many times, and continues to. I have always been able to stand behind the saying "God won't give what He can't provide for!", because I have seen it play itself out in the first years of all my children.

So, yes - we do happen to love our babies. And, personally, I would have another... and another, and another - until God said "That's My Will for you". I didn't write this to offend someone who doesn't have a 'big' family - how many children you do or don't have is up to you and your business. There are some people that, for medical reasons, don't have many children, or any at all, and maybe can't because it would be life-endangering for both parties. God knows that. There are some women who would give anything to hold a child of her own and give it more love than you can imagine - and they can't. My heart goes out to women like that, for I have known a few myself. I wrote this just to say, it's not always some superficial reason why people have a lot of children, and it's definitely not because we just *can't figure out what causes that* - yes, I've heard that one before! I prayed, and still pray, that God gives me just as many children as He wants me to have, and pray daily that I love my children the way He loves me. I'm definitely not the perfect mama - I fail many times, and many times have to ask my children to forgive me. I wouldn't have my life any other way, though, and if you are 'one of those mamas' that have children running here and there and everywhere - don't let people's opinions discourage you. 

God said, "Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward." (Psalm 127:3). Cherish those babies, for one day - they won't be babies anymore. One day, we will only be able to look back on these days and remember what we once had and realize how blessed we are!

Family Flashback

The weather here has been SOOO nice! My children and I decided that a walk in the park after church and lunch was just the perfect idea before taking our wonderful Sunday naps :) (yes, they are still a requirement and will always be one!)

While there, I thought I'd take a few pictures to compare to ones from a year or so before. I have enjoyed looking at the difference that a year brings!

Summer 2012

Fall 2013

 Summer 2012

Fall 2013

A few more, from this year :) I love catching moments with my children!

Hope you are having a wonderful Fall/early Winter where you are! :)

Thanks for stopping by!

The Making of Man, Part III

*This is a re-post. When I began my other blog, No Greater Honors, before it leaned in the direction of a homeschooling blog, I did a three part series entitled *The Making of a Man*. I am moving those posts from No Greater Honors to this blog, because it fits the best here.*

I prayed and wondered how to end the thoughts I had on raising boys, and the truth is, you can never exhaust the subject. Maybe temporarily, but since they are always growing and changing, the things you encounter change as well. I hope this has been a blessing to someone - if nothing else, it was to me, because it gave me a chance to re-evaluate the how's and why's of what I need to be doing for my own sons. So I thought I would just bring up some things that I find in God's word that gives us help in raising them, but not necessarily expound on them, because what they might mean for ME right now, may not be the same thing they mean for YOU right now.

Proverbs is such a good book for instruction on raising Godly men, because of the many times we see "My son". Pretty simple, I know - that's not hard for anyone to understand. But I will be the first to tell you that it's easy in the day-to-day to overlook some things that are important. And once they are grown the influence we have on them may not be the same as it is now.

I will just take a minute to point out some verses that stand out to me. 

Proverbs 1:10, 15 - The ability to say 'NO', being a leader

Proverbs 3: 11 and 12 - A reason and Godly motive for correction

Proverbs 3:27 - Hospitality, Generosity

Proverbs 4: 25-27 - Stability, Standing firm on God's truths

Proverbs 6: 1-5 - Good judgement in business transactions/situations

Proverbs 6: 9-11 - Laziness


I could fill this page with good passages of scripture that can help us!
It's always so fun to watch our boys grow up and see them imitate the men in their life - Daddy, Grandpa.....

                                                                   First shaving lesson from Daddy!  
                                            

                                               Buddy Boy trying to fill Dad's shoes!

One day they truly will be stepping up to the plate and assuming the roles that they like to pretend to be right now!
  
I just want to be an encouragement to others, and seek the Lord for His help in raising our boys to be men of God. It seems that the harder we look for men to stand strong for what is right and be an example for the next generation, the fewer we find. Let's try to raise a generation of MEN for God!  


                              III John 1:4 - I have no greater joy than to
                                     hear that my children walk in truth. 
    

The Making of Man, Part II

*This is a re-post. When I began my other blog, No Greater Honors, before it leaned in the direction of a homeschooling blog, I did a three part series entitled *The Making of a Man*. I am moving those posts from No Greater Honors to this blog, because it fits the best here.*

Proverbs 6:20-23 (KJB) - My son, keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck. When thou goest, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee. For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life:

I had a wonderful pastor's wife and teacher explain these verses once at a ladies meeting, and I am going to try and do my best here. The commandment belongs to the father - and the law to the mother. Therefore, the father holds the lamp, but the light comes from the mother. 

As father's, our husband(s) have an important job, and they are the very structure that begins the home. Yet, the Bible says the mother is the law - the light. Isn't that something? Our husband can establish a physical home, work every day, pay the bills, make sure there is food on the table, and do everything he should do - and yet, without us, there is no light!

I am sure that everyone has been in 'that' home where things are beautiful, clean, nice, nothing old or used, everyone is impeccably dressed and well-fed - and there is no peace. It's like a breeze of cold air hits you as soon as you walk in the door. There is no light to be found. That light depends on the wife - and in this case, the mother!

The COMMANDMENT is the lamp, and the LAW is light - what I see is that our husband can say "This is my desire for our children, or in this case, my son" and set the commandment. Yet we are supposed to give light to that. One thing I think we need to remember in raising our boys, especially when they are younger and we are at home with them ALLLLLL the time and they are looking for so much guidance, is that we need to talk to them about what we (their parents) are trying to teach them, and explain why it is important.
No - they don't always have to have a reason before obedience, or before they will believe us. That's not what I am talking about here - because I strongly feel that we should have a trust for us instilled in our children that tells them, "Mommy/Daddy said it, so I need to do it because they know what's right!". But that trust doesn't come by itself. Here is where the rubber meets the road for me, because I don't always take the time *LATER* to talk about the 'whys' of what we teach them, and I should. One day, we are going to say good bye to our boys. That's sad for me to even think about, but it is true. At that point, we have no say in the choices they make - but before that point, they need to be equipped to understand WHY they should choose to follow the 'commandment of their father' - not just the earthly, but even more important, the heavenly!

Which is where I am going with part two of this - I think we need to T-A-L-K to our boys. Not just the basics of right and wrong, but WHY it is right and wrong. And, eventually, when they are old enough and mature enough to handle it, possibly even go into detail at times about why some limitations are so important in certain areas. I say *eventually* and *possibly* because, as I said, I still have fairly young ones. But we must not only give them the limits to guide them, but a good foundation for WHY we have those limits.

Example: My father is living with us right now, and he gets up at very early hours to go to work. My oldest son, Hoss, loves him like crazy - and tries his best to spend every minute he can with him. So it was no surprise when I found him in the kitchen at 4 a.m. a few days ago, trying to help make Paw Paw's lunch. There was just one problem - it was 4 IN THE MORNING! But he didn't see it that way, of course - what 7 year old would? So I told him to go back to bed, which lasted about 30 minutes - and when I heard noises again, I found him trying to sleep in our living room. So I sent him back to bed, and tried to gently (as could be in the early hours) explain to him that he was not allowed back up that early again, not to try and get up that early, that he needed to sleep and it was necessary to have a good day, and to be healthy and not get sick. Then he shocked me - he turned to hug me and said, "Thank you, momma, for doing what's good for me!" I know that sounds simple, but we need to provide the light - the commandment has already been given, we need to provide the light to guide them through the next part - the reproofs of instruction, which are the way of life. 

Let's join in prayer for each other, and don't get weary in the fight for your boys! The devil would like nothing more than to get their hearts and minds now, and they need us to provide the light to help them see the 'way of life' that is right and good. We need to be busy helping our husbands by shedding light on what is good for our boys, and helping our boys so that they can see what they need to do to grow into men - God's men!

I know this was long, but I don't want to waste my time with my boys, and I know that you don't, either! And by the way, this applies the same with girls, but since we are ~making a Man~ I figured I would keep the focus on boys.

I hope God uses this, because I am nothing, but He is everything, and were it not for some Godly women and mothers that have come before me, and given wonderful examples for me to look to, I shudder to think what I might be doing, or NOT doing, for my children!

And do comment, if you think of something I haven't said, or if something didn't make sense! I claim no perfection, and it wouldn't be the first time that I meant one thing and said another!                  


    

The Making of Man, Part I

*This is a re-post. When I began my other blog, No Greater Honors, before it leaned in the direction of a homeschooling blog, I did a three part series entitled *The Making of a Man*. I am moving those posts from No Greater Honors to this blog, because it fits the best here.*

I have prayed about what to write about - repeatedly reminding myself and telling the Lord that I want to enjoy blogging, but the real goal is already set, and I don't want to ignore what the Lord might have me do. And as I prayed and prayed over the last several days, I still was unsure. And then I figured out what was to come first while having a some one-on-one time with my son a few nights ago. This is, however, a subject that would require an *extremely* long post to talk about everything I have on my heart,and I don't want to bore you, or give the impression of preaching, so it will be a two, or three, part post :)


We, as fathers and mothers, have an important task ahead of us when we look for the first time at the face of a sweet little boy.

                         Buddy Boy, just a couple days old

                            What we don't always see in those first days and weeks is that the small treasure we have now will one day have to fill the shoes of a man. He will hopefully have the responsibilities of a job, a family, and a maybe even a ministry for the Lord. As a mother, it is sometimes hard for me to know just what to do to prepare my son to be a man.  How compassionate should I be? What point is it time to fore-go the compassion, and work toward teaching them that life will not always be fair and they need to be ready for it? How can I help him, and be a help to my husband, in turning this sweet little boy, into a strong, focused young man? Those are a few questions that I believe probably go through any mother's mind. 

Proverbs 1:8 - My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother.                        

God's word is very clear, then, that a mother and a father are very important to raising a man. So we as mothers have an amazing opportunity to influence our son, and help our husband's achieve their goals as well. Because I am a stay at home mom, I have a lot of my boys' time, so I have plenty of chances to instill the charecteristics of a man in them, from a young age.

So I am going to just cover a couple in today's post: Soberness and Integrity.

1. INTEGRITY - Websters defines integrity in several ways, including moral  soundness or purity, uprightness, honesty, and incorruptness. This tells me that one thing we should strive to teach our boys is honesty in both word and action, and to be a 'man of their word'. There should be a moral soundness in them, that ensures that regardless of their situation, their morals are going to withstand, even if they are shaken a bit by what they are going through. Which means we need to teach them to have convictions and standards that they are determined not to comprocompromise on. Which means that we have to set the example.

2. SOBERNESS - gravity, seriousness, calmness, coolness. I have established a rule with Hoss - 'The first time is funny, the second time is foolish'. Because he is a 7 year old that loves to make me laugh, and when he finds something funny, he will repeat it - OVER and OVER and OVER. That's just one way to teach a level of soberness. No, that doesn't mean take their personality away if they tend to be on the funny side. But we do need to teach them that there is a time for seriousness, and that they need to control both their silliness, and on the other side of things, their temper. Calmness - Coolness - it will help them in the long run if we teach them not to over-react to situations, but keep calm despite circumstances. That could save their lives, or the lives of others, and help them when they come upon things in life that are hard.

Those are just a couple of things that I have thought about when I pray about what I want to teach my boys. 

 

                                                           my 'knight in shining armor'   

I have to be clear on one point, though - I have not 'arrived' at perfection in raising boys! I am still in the trenches, and have much to learn. That is why I talk about this now - because now is when we need to start training boys to be men - we can't wait until they are grown and hope that they will just wake up one day and decide to put away childish things. They will not turn out to be what you don't decide to teach them to be. And I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on training boys, because we need all the encouragement and help we can get as mothers!

Stay tuned for part 2, coming up soon! 

My Testimony

I'd like to take a minute to share my testimony.

I repented of my sin, and asked Jesus Christ to forgive me, and live in my heart, as a 10 year old girl. That is, hands down, the BEST decision I have ever made in my life. Better then the decision to marry, better than the decision to have children, better than the decision to homeschool said children. The BEST. I knew the morning I got saved that I wasn't. God used a Godly Sunday School teacher, who prayed weekly in class - and most likely, daily at home - for the children in her class. I could never thank that Sunday School teacher enough, for it was in Sunday School that morning that the Lord began to work on my heart.

After church was over that morning, after having sat through the entire sermon knowing God was working on my heart, I made a beeline for our Pastor, who showed me that without Jesus Christ, and his forgiveness of my sins, I could never make it to Heaven on my own.

I will always look back on that day and know that the Lord changed me. I remember very clearly thinking, "I need to be a good girl now, and I know I am different" - God will always speak to someone right at the level we are at.

As I grew, though, something very common happens. Unfortunately, I decided not to draw close to the Lord, and by the time I was in high school, I made most of my decisions off of what I wanted to do. I still went to church every Sunday and Wednesday, still basically did right - never got in trouble with the law, never smoked or drank or did drugs. I felt like I was 'OK'. Wow, was I ever wrong! It's so easy to assume that we are okay because we are doing everything right on the outside, when the sin lies so deep in our hearts.

Right before I got married, in December of 2002, God really started working on my heart, showing me I needed to seek Him. Over the next year, God worked in my heart in ways that I never could have imagined, and he continues to do that to this day. This christian walk is not easy - God didn't promise it would be easy. 

In fact, He said in John 16:33 - "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world". 1 John 4:4 says, "Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world". I rest in these promises, because they keep me going when I start to get discouraged with the fight to do right. 

I'd like to end this short testimony - short because, if I tried to tell you all the things God has done for me, I wouldn't have enough room on this blog! - I'd like to quote a pastor and friend that said once, "If we die and find out that everything we have believed is wrong, I still wouldn't change one minute of it". That's the testimony I hope to keep, by God's grace, and hope to convey through any said or done on this blog.

- Amy

My Mission

There is a purpose for this blog. I LOVE to write, although most often find myself thinking up ideas....for homeschooling my children! Not personal writing! I have always enjoyed writing, however, and I believe that God gives people a gift for writing, for a purpose. I don't think I am extremely gifted, but simply have the gift of loving to write - there is a difference, and although I can't begin to understand it, I know there are people out there who do not enjoy writing, so it must come from the Lord.

I already have had an enjoyable experience blogging over at No Greater Honor, which I plan to continue, but that is geared toward homeschooling. When I began to blog under that name, I wasn't sure where I would go with it, and that's ultimately where it has ended up. If you want to know more about our life of teaching our children in the home, I would love for you to check it out there! However, I want to write for the Lord. He gave me this joy, and I would like to use it to turn people's hearts toward Him. He also gave me 'God's Highest Calling For A Christian Lady' - the experience of being a wife, mother, and keeper at home.  This is something that, in today's world, is highly overlooked. I know there are many blogs out there, it seems, that praise being a keeper at home, but truly, they are just a drop in the bucket. I would really love to be a blessing and encouragement to other wives and mothers, and an honor to my God most of all. 

So with A Higher Calling, I would love to share little bits and pieces of my life as a wife and mother, not because I am something special, but because I serve a God who is EVERYTHING special. Maybe by sharing some things that go on here from time to time, and how God uses them to make me a better wife and mother, it will not only help remind me of what I am striving to be - that Proverbs 31 woman - but also be a help to someone along the way. I am NOT, however, out to preach to you. It is possible that from time to time, I may share some of my own personal convictions and standards (I know - that scary 's' word that abides in a christian's life - it's not as bad as you think!) I will not, however, tell you what you should be doing. That, too, is not my place - I will openly be glad to share why I have made some of the decisions I have made, and why I train my children the way I do. It is your decision, and between you and the Lord, what you do in your home and life, though. I am NOT out to tell a man how to run his home, and if the day ever comes that I find myself even trying, I hope anyone who reads this will let me know. That will be the end of this blog! God has not given me the place to do so, and I will not try to pick that up. My prayer is simply to be a blessing to other women, walking some of the same roads that I am walking in life. I hope that if you are reading this, you find help, encouragement, a friend, and that you can see that through the ups and downs of life, God is still good, ALL THE TIME!

 Titus 2: 3-5  The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children. To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

Meet The Family

Welcome to A Higher Calling!

I'd like to introduce you to the family!

 My best friend, who I have the honor and privilege of calling my husband! He is also a wonderful Daddy - not perfect - but just right for our family! On top of all that, he is also a dedicated member of the United States Air Force (both prior Active Duty, and now Full Time Air National Guard).

The face behind the blog - here I am! A dedicated wife and mommy to five, God has surely blessed me and given me more than enough to fill my days (and very often, more time of my nights than I would like to give up!)

Last, but definitely not least, here is the mission field I have been called to - these precious faces!

From left to right, we have Miss Priss, Bug, Hoss, Buddy Boy, and Little Mama. Their pseudonyms reflect their personality, the role they have taken on in our family, and some are truly what they go by often at home.

In this picture, you see them oldest to youngest, starting by the stairs, or opposite starting from front to back. Buddy Boy is in the front, with Bug behind him, Miss Priss in the middle, then Hoss and all backed up by Little Mama.

We are a military family, a homeschool family, and most of all - God's family. My desire is to raise children who love to learn, learn early to put God's desires for us before our own desires, and therefore make our desires, God's. I look forward to you learning more about our family - the real ins and outs - through this blog!